Selfish Motives and Personal Ambitions

When we experience conflict, selfish motives and personal ambition are often at the heart of the problem. When no one cares who gets the credit, when no one has a hidden agenda, when no one desires personal glory, and when everyone is serving and working together with pure and loving motivation, conflict will rarely be an issue. When it does happen, it will be quickly worked through in a peaceful and loving way. It is important for us to daily examine our motives and be sure that we are doing everything that we do for the right reasons and for the good of all, not for selfish desires or purposes. When we are controlled by selfish ambition, it can lead to conflict and disorder, and opens the door to a myriad of severe problems– gossip, hatred, arguing, fighting, and broken relationships that can last a life-time. It splits companies, organizations, and churches, destroys families and ruins relationships. Whenever we find ourselves embroiled in conflict, we need to stop, take a good look at ourselves and at our hearts to see what is controlling us and who needs to change.

Stubbornness and “Disagreeability”

We all have different ideas and opinions, and our personalities are very different.  Therefore, there is plenty of opportunity to experience disagreement with each other. It is common for people to disagree, but it is wrong when in character we are disagreeable. How do we disagree and about what do we disagree? If we are living with integrity, loving others, and serving with pure motives, we will seek to build and protect unity. When we are seeking to develop and promote unity, we will work through our disagreements with humility. In our stubbornness, we often refuse to listen to other’s ideas and thoughts, because we are too busy proposing and defending our own. Humility causes us to listen and learn from others. It allows us to move beyond frustration to collaboration. Remember, “We can disagree, but let’s not be disagreeable”.

Lack of Love and Forgiveness

Genuine love covers all wrongs. When love rules in our relationships, it enables us to forgive all offenses, words, and actions against us. It enables us to overlook minor differences and work through the major ones with ethical principles and values, and with humility, gentleness, and patience. Conflict is often the result of negative attitudes and grudges towards other people. When we fail to deal with offenses right away, we tend to build up bad attitudes and store up the memory of these in our hearts and minds. This can result in anger, wrath, arguments, and conflict. The only cure for all of this is forgiveness, and the time for forgiveness is now! When we refuse to forgive, we reserve a place in our hearts and lives for bitter grudges, anger and internal conflict that will one day pour out into real relationships. This is extremely dangerous and hazardous to our spiritual and emotional health and to the health of the organizations in which we live and work. To cure conflict in our lives and organizations, we need right motives, healthy emotions, and the ability to develop mutual agreement and collaboration.

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